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And you can find a guy who wants an open and egalitarian relationship, which is what you deserve.

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] -Tell your friends, family, colleagues, co-workers and neighbours to check out ORSM-DOT-NET else my friend Ray will eat you.

Well know this then - Ray is so fat that his signature is just a blot of bacon grease.

On the other hand, I have been deceitful and manipulative for almost my entire adult life. Part of my motivation for writing is that I am particularly attached to the woman I'm having an affair with now, and both of us fantasize about being together openly. And these women didn't "turn into" one-year, three-year, seven-month, and four-months-and-counting affairs on their own.

On the one hand, I do not regret my time with any of these women. We are also very socially and financially entangled. And if so, I need help considering an exit strategy. It doesn't "just keep happening," ASSHOLE, you keep doing it.

I'm a liar, a cheat, a user, and a manipulator—and it just keeps happening. You turned them into affairs by continuing to show up. Zooming out: If all it takes for some rando to get her hands on your otherwise committed cock is to DM you on Instagram, you have no business making monogamous commitments.

And while you claim that each of these women pursued you despite knowing you were in an exclusive relationship, it doesn't sound like you ran from any of them. " as if the universe were conspiring against you somehow. If you'd sought out a partner who wanted an open relationship—a wide-open one—you could have had concurrent, committed, nonexclusive relationships and avoided being "a liar, a cheat, a user," etc.

Or maybe you're the wrong kind of sadist: the un-self-aware emotional sadist.

You say you love your wife, but you also say she'd be crushed—destroyed—if she discovered what you've been doing.

While people outside the relationship might perceive that as unfair—one gets to cheat, the other doesn't—what's more ideal than both halves of a couple getting just what they want?

But if an eroticized power imbalance—an honestly erotized one—doesn't turn you on, the creepily manipulative arrangement your husband is proposing certainly isn't going to work.

So long as those desires are consciously eroticized, fully compartmentalized, and safely expressed, you could have done everything you wanted, ASSHOLE, without harming anyone. It seems like you want out, and your wife definitely deserves better, so cop to one affair, since copping to all of them would crush her—or so you think. I made an open relationship a requirement at the start.

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