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“I advise men to pay on a first date,” says ‘flirt coach’ Thomas Peter, who runs how-to courses in flirting in Zurich or by telephone or email.“Later on couples usually want to split the costs – especially older couples," he says, adding that surprisingly "Among young people there is still a tendency for girls to expect their date to pay.” Blending commitment and independence is expected…“And do not lie about the fact you are going on different dates.
She says: “Labelling yourself as an expat when you want to date locals is not always helpful.
Just say, you live here now.” Sharing the cost of a date is normal If elsewhere men pay on dates, this is not always the case in Switzerland.
“This gives the man the green light to speak to you. Exacerbating the problem is the temporal nature of expats.
Swiss people may not be keen on making an effort when they know you are likely to move on in the near future, explains Tijmens.
Alice*, a French expat in Zurich, reveals that although her Swiss boyfriend paid on their first date, he expected costs to be split 50/50 after that.
It is not a question of being stingy, however; it is about equality.But as Swiss Marc* reveals, “we behave the way we do because of the numerous rejections we have received from Swiss women.” Tijmens’ top tip?Women should make themselves more approachable by, for example, smiling and saying ‘hello’. It doesn’t pay off to label yourself an ‘expat’ Think being an expat will make you sound exotic? There are around two million expats in Switzerland from all over the world, but the Swiss are on their home turf: they have friendships they established as children, making it hard for foreigners to build relationships with them.You need to make more effort than you think With the rise of dating apps like Tinder and Grindr, many of us expect instant hook-ups.But this ‘no effort’ mentality is a mistake when it comes to dating the Swiss.*names have been changed A version of this article was published in 2016.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating